SEXUAL ETIQUETTE & SOCIAL CONDUCT AT OUR J.O.C. PARTIES

It seems fitting that we should provide herein the following paragraphs on SEXUAL ETIQUETTE . . . Of course we all enjoy going to the various parties that exist . . . But there are certain rules of behavior to which we should all adhere, in order to ensure that everyone has an equally good time . . . Consider the following 4 suggestions:

• Taking No for an Answer: Let's face it, no matter how "hot" you may think you are [ or not ], you will eventually be rejected by someone . . . When that happens it's very important to respect that guy's wishes, and just leave him alone . . . Following him around, hoping he'll change his mind, is not only in most cases futile, but entirely disrespectful . . . Think about it -- if you were the one saying no, you'd want to be left alone, right? . . . Well, it works both ways.
• Saying No Gracefully: Most guys I've seen say no to someone at parties [ and I do this myself as well ] by simply patting a guy's chest a couple of times, smiling and turning your head away -- they usually get the message . . . There is clearly no need to be nasty, hostile, insulting, turning your nose up, scrunching your face, making a noise -- any of that mess . . . Again, you wouldn't want anyone to treat you like that, so you should act accordingly . . . And if you get that "pat of rejection," just suck it up and keep walking.
• Leaving Well Enough Alone: Sometimes there's nothing hotter than seeing 2 [ or 3, or more ] guys having a hot scene together -- just watching it can get you off . . . And for those of us who tend toward the, uh, exhibitionist side, it's a lotta fun to have a crowd watching . . . But that doesn't mean you have the right to interrupt them . . . Watching and enjoying, from a distance, is the perfect way to both respect the guys who're playing, and still enjoy yourself . . . And if they actually want you to join -- trust me, they'll let you know . . .
• Lastly, Report It: If you're at any party and you see someone acting, shall we say, dysfunctionally, you should immediately go to the host of the party [ or one of his staffguys, if he has any ] and report the guilty party . . . It's not your job to keep him in line -- it's theirs . . .

     A few of you have occasionally mentioned to me that you sometimes have trouble connecting with men at my parties, and ensuring that your safe sex guidelines are respected . . . Well, there're a few ways to address this -- here's a couple of pieces of advice . . . First, if you wanna hook up with someone, and you let him know you wanna play safe, and he walks away, don't take it as a rejection -- just realize that it's really his loss, especially because he refused to respect your wishes . . . After all, he wants his wishes to be respected -- so why shouldn't he respect yours? [ moreover, for those of you saying no -- a simple "thanks-but-no-thanks" is so much better than walking away in judgmental scorn ] . . .

     Second, if you're one of those guys who prefers to play safely, one of the best ways to ensure this is to Buy and Bring Your Own Condoms . . . And forget those regular little ones we [ and others ] put out at parties . . . Stop off at a drug store or bodega beforehand, and buy [ preferably ] a box of Magnums [ the gold-wrapped regular ones, not the b&w extra-large ones ], and stuff some in your socks when you get to a party . . . This can have amazing benefits: hooking up with a guy, and handing him a Magnum -- let's just say that it's a nice stroke to his ego; he'll be so impressed that you think he's, uh, big, that -- well, y'know the rest . . .

We at Jackss of Color want all of our guests to have a safe and enjoyable experience at our parties & events. Please be respectful of each other and the staff as well. In a highly sexual enviroment, such as our J.O.C. parties, good manners and being respectful of each others boundries is just as important as if attending any other social event - if not more so. Thank you all for your patronage and support for the past 24 years. We hope to continue to provide our community with a safe and comfortable place were gay men can come together to commune and celebrate our sexuality and each other.